Stop trying to live in a sinking mansion. The grand things in life have ripped us apart as a society. We have ran after things with a hope of loving things that are rotten. We have made diamond encrusted poison apples our diet and the next generation will pay for our selfish desires.
I’ve realized that some people are sleeping beauties in a wicked world. However, they desire to sleep because the dream that they are in is completely “divine”. You’re with that woman or man that you’ve always fantasized about in your head. They have the body you have longed to touch. They have that smile that makes you smile right back.

The only problem is……….they aren’t apart of your future. They are just pieces of your past that the enemy has updated to make you think that what you’re with is better than what you left. It may seem better but in reality, it’s just an updated version of the world you were trying to leave behind.

That’s why you have to stop fantasizing and start having faith. I hear so many people tell their friends and coworkers about who they fantasize to be with. However, the only way you will really know if they were made for you is if God approved them.

But no…many of us know that God won’t approve them because we already know what’s wrong. We just decide to settle. Except we don’t call it settling because we THEN validate why we are with them in the first place. We start with the outside achievements of a person. They are beautiful, their body is well-made, and we brag about what they do career wise.

However, Jezebel was ambitious and I’m sure so was Delilah. I’m sure even Judas had that little No Shave November going on. If he was on Instagram, I’m sure even Judas would have gotten a few likes for his beard. The devil himself is ambitious and has “goals”. Achievements in life are great but the enemy works too so I’m still trying to figure out how that is enough for you to settle. Then there is the “inward” parts of the person that we validate as well. They are kind, compassionate, and so forth. They may be. However, the most important part is a person’s spirit and many of us already know that.

Again, we just skip that part though because we think we can FIX that. However, you can’t fix spirit. Only the person who possesses that spirit can fix it. You can’t wait around and waste time with someone that has a spirit of complacency. We tolerate more than we should because we believe that we only QUALIFY for what we see to be around us [Tweet This].

The sad part is that this doesn’t just apply to relationships but life in general. As my father says, “The manifestation of blessings in your life only rises to the level of your confession through faith and action”. So you will receive whatsoever you speak and act on. Settling is not a choice, it’s a lifestyle set in place by consistent habits [Tweet This].

If you start settling for one thing without correcting it, it will not work on your behalf. I’m speaking from personal experience. Recently, I’ve found myself settling. Yeah, I’m not proud about it. I believe the reason why I was sinking into that lifestyle of settling was because my faith was become complacent due to what I SAW in the natural and not by faith. Then I realized something. There is nothing I can do. I mean there are tons of things I can do OUTSIDE of God’s will. I can get married in a few months if I wanted to but it would be horrible and internally I would know that it wasn’t right. I’ve been through too many experiences of pain and hurt to settle for a mediocre relationship at this point.

I need God to build my house. For so long, we settle for either trailer park headaches, suburban disasters, or sinking mansions. I need God to build my house. Any house not built by God always seems to have more problems than we expect. However, we have to stop trying to live in homes we know aren’t meant for long term use. I used to be in relationships like a rental. I stay for a few months then I pack up my bags and move somewhere else. However, there was no stability. There was no consistency. I was a nomad.

I remember the word “nomad” from elementary school in social studies. Based upon’s meaning, it is defined as the following.
“a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place toplace, usually seasonally and often following a traditional route or circuit according to thestate of the pasturage or food supply.”

Look at some of the words in this definition. It reminds me of my past relationships. Do you move seasonally, from one person to another? Based upon the definition, a nomad moves according to past or traditional routes based upon the nourishment that they need. Every person desires to be nourished. We all want to be loved but if you’re a nomadic lover, you will always travel the same way trying to be fulfilled [Tweet This]. You need God to build your house.

I don’t want the unneeded stress from a man that I can’t “vibe” with. If I just finished reading an amazing passage in the bible, I want to be able to talk about it with you. If the Holy Spirit is speaking to my heart, I need to be able to discuss it with you. By the way, the Holy Spirit should be speaking to that person as well. If we end up being married and the children are sick, can you pray with me? If something happens to us financially, will you tell me that we need to have faith and believe God to make a way? When I get weak, will your strength and wisdom cover me? I need to know and the ONLY way I can be sure is if God builds my house.

My house is custom made for me. It fits all the things that God knows that I need and not just what I want. I need someone who can put up with my stubbornness and how I can be very headstrong at times. I need someone who can deal with my bubbly personality that is very passionate for many things. I need someone who can handle how I can be indecisive at times and how I obsess over minor details (just a little).

God build our house so that we can have the right mate. If you are married, pray that God continues to build your home so that your relationship will be blessed. It’s not just about you though. A God-given relationship brings blessings to your children (if you desire to have them). I want my children to see someone that loves God with their entire heart. No, they don’t have to be perfect. Abraham wasn’t perfect. Job wasn’t perfect. Joseph (Jesus’ natural father) wasn’t perfect. Yet, they loved God. However, there is one last thing to point out when it comes to a Godly mate.

Just because they are saved and you guys have that “vibe” going on does not mean they are meant for you. There is 1 for you so the rest have to be your friends or acquaintances. Do you know how many people are in the world? There are so many churches. If I desired a man that loved God with all of their heart, loved Stevie Wonder, was tall, and had big goals. BAM. I’m sure there would be at least 10 men from all over the world that fit that description. How do you know which one is for YOU? They could all treat you like a Queen. They could all do all the things you’ve always desired.

Now what? Here comes doubt though.
“Well how come I’ve never met those 10 men or women”

Probably because if you did meet them, you would try to flirt with every one of them thinking that one of them was “destined” to be your husband. Let’s be honest. You need someone for you and sometimes we don’t even know ourselves. That’s the real truth. We THINK we know ourselves but only God knows who we are.
13 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
14 I thank you, High God––you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration––what a creation!
15 You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day
(Psalms 139:13-16 Message)

And THAT’S why I’m going to let God build my house. We can’t afford to be in homes that are never increasing in value. It will deplete your resources and your energy. I’m no longer going to worry about when it will be built and how it will be built. That’s not my business. As I end my thoughts, let’s look at Proverbs 16.
32 An undisciplined, self–willed life is puny;
an obedient, God–willed life is spacious.
33 Fear–of– God is a school in skilled living––
first you learn humility, then you experience glory.
1 Mortals make elaborate plans,
but God has the last word.
2 Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good;
God probes for what is good.
3 Put God in charge of your work,
then what you’ve planned will take place.
4 God made everything with a place and purpose;
even the wicked are included––but for judgment.
5 God can’t stomach arrogance or pretense;
believe me, he’ll put those upstarts in their place.
6 Guilt is banished through love and truth;
Fear–of– God deflects evil.
7 When God approves of your life,
even your enemies will end up shaking your hand.
8 Far better to be right and poor
than to be wrong and rich.
9 We plan the way we want to live,
but only God makes us able to live it
(Proverbs 16:1-9 Message)

I would like to share a story of faith when it comes to picking a mate. This is a story of my parents and how they believed for a home. This was just one example of their faith. However, it just shows how having someone who God has picked for you is amazing.


I remember when I moved as a middle school youth to an affluent neighborhood. The home we moved to wasn’t placed on the market. Matter of fact, they weren’t even showing it on those private listing sites. You had to be invited and we weren’t even in those types of circles to get an invitation. Yet, I remember as a child when we were looking to move to a neighboring state. We were looking at apartments. My parents were believing God for a home but because of our daily schedule, we needed to still be closer to our daily destinations. So they were believing God to find a temporary living space until they could find their home. I’ll never forget when this realtor for the apartment complexes we were looking at, told us to wait for a moment. My parents were telling her that the spaces were nice but it wasn’t what they were looking for exactly. They wouldn’t settle.

The lady walked away from us and I heard her tell someone on the other side of the conversation that we were a very nicely dressed family looking for a beautiful space to live. I looked up at my mom, almost annoyed because I thought she was trying to say that blacks couldn’t dress as nice as we did. I was a child that always played defense (including in opinions and arguments). However, my mother and father waited patiently until she got off of the phone. She told us to follow her because we were traveling to another destination. We drove into this neighborhood and then up this skinny hill that led to this older style built estate with a side guest house. A few months later we moved in. I remember living in a bedroom with my brother that had a closet I had put my clothes in since I was learning how to talk. My 7th grade year, I was now living in a suite with a separate living room for myself. It wasn’t a dream. It was a reality. Do you know why we received it? (Don’t worry, I’m getting somewhere)

We didn’t get to live in that home because we looked like a nice family and because the lady saw something in us special. No. The reason goes back several years before that moment in time. It goes back to the reason why you can’t be idiotic when picking a mate. My parents are faith people, without a doubt. They are some of the most passionate and on fire for God people I have ever met. When they believe God for something, they go into crazy prayer and action mode. My parents were sleeping on a tiny bed as a couple with my brother and I coming very close behind their day of marriage. I was born one year after they were married. My brother was born the following year within the same month (We’re both April babies). If people could only see the one bathroom the entire house shared every morning that had the shower/bathtub. My parents drove this put put car to work everyday. They did not match where God would end up taking them but they kept on having faith. They weren’t praying for money as a goal. They were praying that their desires to bless others and live an abundant life would come to fruition. My parents have always been givers, even when they did not have. If you give to others, God will give to you[Tweet This]. Even when they were sleeping on that small bed, they had this piece of paper that they had taped to the wall. They knew that how they were living was only temporary. That had faith that better things were ahead. As they prayed each night and talked about what God would do, they kept on working. God started up opening doors to increase their salary. They were obtaining positions that some may say they did not qualify for. However, God isn’t interested in what man qualifies you for. God was blessing them because they had faith and were acting accordingly.

As a couple, they would pray and fast. They loved on each other and showed my brother & I how to pray. Even when I was little, we were taught how to pray and spend time with the Holy Spirit. We weren’t a religious family. We just realized how important it was to have a relationship. Growing up, it’s amazing what a “power” couple truly is. It isn’t the Jay-Z and Beyoncé lifestyle nor the pictures that show a couple wearing red bottom shoes flashing money. It’s a lifestyle of faith. A power couple is a couple that walks by faith powered by God’s will for their life [Tweet This].

They walked by faith even when everything around them seemed to scream poverty. They never said that they were poor. They would always walk around saying that God would provide. I remember when my mother was taking care of my brother & I, and my father had a small paying job. It was household where my father had two children and a wife to support with a low income job. Yet somehow, my mother was a budget wiz. They would pray over their bills and show their faith by being good stewards over their funds. God would provide every time. That’s a power couple. Now when I look back on the hard times my parents went through, seeing God bless them makes me see what it means to have someone who truly fits you. Everyone seems to be that “perfect” mate but God sees into the future and He knows who will be the one to stick it out during the hard times. He knows who will cover you when the other ones you thought you were “perfect” wouldn’t even cover you. I’m not saying that the bad times are amazing for you. However, what I’m saying is that a God-given mate will truly make that “through thick or thin” doable because God is within them.

Trust God. He’s got you. Stay focused on your path and what God has you doing for the Kingdom. In due time, your house will be built and it will be the most beautiful home.

God build our house.

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