Jealous Jane: The 7 Laws of Jealousy
Ladies, this article is for you! Sorry Men. I’ll catch you next time in my upcoming article. Ladies, let’s talk about Jealous Jane. I’m sure you’ve met her at some point or maybe at many points in your life. I’ve had a few Jealous Jane appearances and it’s time for a reminder just in case you forgot how she moves and acts.
1. Jealous Jane is Selfish (even if it looks like “support)
I’ve learned that even in the “thick and thin”, Jealous Jane may not leave your side. Some people will stay with you through it because they aren’t the ones suffering. Jealous Jane is only there for the credit of saying that they were with you through your bad times. Now the REAL question is HOW were they there. I’ve seen friends stab one another in the back after going through terrible situations. Watch out for people who only want to cash in on their “friend credits” for the sake of promoting how great of a friend they are. Their goal? There is none because 95% of the time Jealous Jane is a psycho who needs Jesus.
2. Jealous Jane thinks everything is a competition
They either have to one-up you every time or they feel as if you steal away from their spotlight when you are doing good. The other indicator is when they have a hard time allowing your other friends to be an amazing friend. They can’t live without themselves being in the picture 24/7. If they weren’t there, they throw shade at the event or whatever happened. If they didn’t host it, they throw shade at how it could be better. If they didn’t come up with the idea, then it’s always a critique towards “improvements”. Most Jealous Jane’s that I’ve met have a very limited point of view. They only see things through one scope and lack true leadership. Even though they may honestly have good ideas from time to time, they still see everything as a competition. If you try to do something within the same space/arena as them, they think you are stealing away from their shine. Why is this? They aren’t whole within themselves. Jealous Jane doesn’t understand that friends can shine together without competing. But alas, she doesn’t understand that so she’s trying to prove how above she is compared to you. You may actually be on the same level in life but to her, you just don’t operate like she does. She thinks that she has some outlook on life that you’re missing and due to this, you’re just out of the loop. She never says this point blank. However, it will come out in certain circumstances so keep your eyes peeled and the exit door cracked.
3. Jealous Jane actually never supports your purpose unless they are connected to her in some way
Jealous Jane is not just a psycho and a competing maniac. She is also the worst supporter. I once had a friend who boasted how much of a friend she was to me. She wasn’t signed up on any of my business email lists, never shared any of my promos for my business, or anything like that. Yet, she was a friend. I don’t actually ask my friends to support me but don’t proclaim your allegiance and never support me. However, on the receiving end, it was much different. A jealous friend is like a leech. Love doesn’t count the number of times it steps out on the ledge for another. However, sometimes you do need to analyze just what exactly this friendship is based on. If they only support when they are involved directly, tell Jealous Jane to have several seats in far left back side of your life. You see Jealous Jane has a hard time processing that you actually have a purpose to fulfill with or without them. Remember that jealous people are jealous because there is something that you have that they feel like they are missing. It’s actually a sad place to be in. They don’t actually see their own lives as ENOUGH so they try and ruin yours with their own lofty opinions.
4. Jealous Jane is an emotional wreck
Jealousy is when you allow your emotion to overtake your sanity. It’s when you think (like we said before) that there is something that someone else has that would make your life better. You are seeing yourself as “lacking”. You haven’t found contentment within what amazing things are happening within your own life. You see jealousy is when you take the focus off of you. You have lost perspective. That’s what jealousy is all about. Due to this, your emotions are unstable and in wreck because you’re unfocused. When you have Jealous Jane in your life you will notice that they are all over the place in life. They are in between gossip, crazy ups and downs, and more. They see chaos as apart of life. They cling on to petty back and forth drama. Again, these things may not be evident at first but they always appear. Jealous Jane needs help and a “Come to Jesus” moment. Well several…
5. Jealous Jane desires you to “tone down” who you are
Jealous Jane can not STAND when you’re walking in ALL of your purpose with a passion! They can’t stand it when you start making noise that they can not control themselves. They may ask you to “fall back” with some of your stances or commentary. Ignore them. They just wish they could be as bold as you are and as free as you are currently flying. Learn how to embrace who you are and not allow insecure people pull you down.
6. Jealous Jane has a problem when you connect with other people outside of her
Jealous Jane has a HUGE problem when you start connecting with other people and she doesn’t know who they are NOR did she make the connection. She tries to bring you 100 reasons why you shouldn’t connect. Of course, this just brings confusion into the mix (adding dirt to clean water). Because she isn’t stuck on HER purpose, she has a big problem when you make moves and it’s not approved by her. Real friends support and pray for you to make awesome connections. They also don’t bring in confusion by adding in false gossip, stories, and rumors that aren’t even true. Jealous Jane doesn’t pray at all for you to make those connections. Instead, she just throws shade continuously at them because that’s all she can throw. I’ve had friends take 2 hours shading someone else and it changed how I saw that other person. Sadly, it kept me from making friendships with some amazing people. I spent way too long thinking about people the wrong way because of a jealous friend. Honestly, she needs to let Jesus throw some LOVE and HEALING her way.
7. Jealous Jane constantly tears you down in the name of “being realistic”
Let me tell you what I don’t have time for: Purpose Shredders. These are people who can never see something working. Of course, they will do NOTHING in their power to even TRY to help you do something successfully. What they will do is continuously tell you why something can not be done without giving you any solutions of ways it can be achieved. For instance, maybe I can’t launch my business using X but at least provide me with solutions Y and Z since you’re a friend. Of course, their creativity/lack of enthusiasm doesn’t feel like providing those solutions. I could care less about people who bring me problems but no solutions. You’re just wasting my time. Criticism can be healthy if supported by a solution. However, being a flat out critic and masking it as “advice from a friend” is just flatline out of pocket.
So how to you detach from a jealous friend? First, you need to identify them! Usually tension will build up and you will find the perfect moment to cut the cord. However, if that doesn’t happen, you need to plan an exit strategy. You will need to have a conversation where you state how you are feeling and how it’s time to go separate ways. Here’s the thing. We are adults. Now being that Jealous Jane is emotional, expect them to go off like a hot air balloon. You just stay focused on your purpose and enjoy the life that has been given unto you. You have to realize that when bad leaves good is soon to follow!
If Jealous Jane has a problem with you moving on then tell her to deal with it! Learn that space is good especially if it’s ripping you away from your purpose and being focused on the right things! Join me in my next article as I dive into what the secret ingredients of friendship are!